Thursday, June 26, 2008

Excitement and uncertainty

It's definitely been exciting to see new referrals coming to Bethany families much earlier than expected, and largely due to the agency's new relationship with a private orphanage. The buzz on blogs and forums is all about names, travel arrangements, hair care, etc. Which brings me to my current state of mind: paralyzed with indecision. I want to plan, make arrangements, buy stuff, paint, organize and prepare...

Should we be considering names? Well, we don't know if it will be a boy or a girl? And depending on his/her age, we may not change names at all. Should we think about sleeping arrangements? Will he/she share a room with Caroline or will we sub-divide her large bedroom? Should we build a bunk bed or will they share a bed? We don't know if our little one will be 3 months or 2 years, sleeping in a crib or a bed.

And here's the biggie: how do we explain to Caroline why there's a new little stranger living in our house, playing with her toys, sharing her room? Will she be old enough to understand? She could be more than 3 years old or barely 2 when we bring home her new sibling.

I guess I'm just a linear thinker/planner. I need to resolve the next thing in line before I tackle something 6 or 12 months down the road. But I also really like to have my ducks in a row. I thrive on having things figured out. The process of adoption is so the opposite of the that. It's more like hurry, hurry (paperwork), then wait, wait (referral), then hurry, hurry to resolve every detail before you travel and arrive home with your sweet little bundle. Like with parenting, I'm learning to surrender and let things in the universe unfold as God intends, knowing they'll work out eventually. But it's hard...

4 comments:

Cindy said...

I didn't know that Bethany had started in Ethiopia!
I wish you luck with the wait!!!

Kelli TenHaken said...

It is so hard to hurry and wait; we were there too. I also like to plan and organize so it was hard to wait until referral to do all of that. But, once you get a referral your time will fly until you travel because you will have lots to do! Hang in there- we hope you get a referral soon!

Lori said...

I am so glad to know that I am not the only one!!! I am already driving my hubbie crazy with these thoughts and we haven't even sent our dossier off!!

I will pray for patience for you everytime I pray it for myself, which is a lot!

Holly said...

It's definitely going to throw Ellie for a loop. She says that Blessing is her sister (she loves to say that) but when I ask her if I am also Blessing's mommy, she immediately says "NO, MY mommy". When I asked her who was going to be Blessing's mommy, she responded "diferent Mommy". Oh boy. But she'll learn.