Sunday, June 27, 2010

My life revolves around poop

It's not so much a complaint as a realization I came to during one of my poop duties. Let me just run through the list here...starting with the oldest. His name starts with S.

That's right, Skip (or Skipper-do, as we like to call him). Skip has a weight problem. My fault, but nevertheless he has to be kept up 20 hours a day. That makes for a lot of collected poop that someone has to scoop and take to a poop pile on the edge of the field. (Anyone need some manure for their garden? Come get it.)

Then there's sweet Delilah. She has free rein of the field 12 hours a day, but bless her heart, she gets hot out in the sun and spends a lot of her day in the barn breezeway. And what else is there to do in a barn breezeway than poop. She's also a very indiscriminate pooper. Last week, she actually pooped on their salt block -- the thing they lick to get trace minerals. Yum.

Going down the line, there's Caroline. She's mastered the potty in all poop matters, except one. Without getting too grahic, she likes to go on her own -- without help. Often, she just goes then goes about her business -- without TP or wipes. Then she pays the price later.

Finally, there's little D. Let me say, you never know what you're gonna get. Now that he's taken to drinking river water, either directly or by sucking on, say, a tow rope, his diaper changes can be interesting. He can also sit in a poopy diaper for hours, days. And let me tell you, he does. Because all you have to do is mention the word "diaper" or "change" and he's gone, gone, gone. If you happen to catch him, you better hold on tight because he will struggle and kick and scream and wiggle and twist. And make a huge mess. I almost can't handle him on the changing table; I've had to resort to the floor with my leg across his chest. This is not every now and then; it's every diaper change. Potty training can't be nearly this challenging, right?

Anyway, that's the poop on poop. I never really planned to write about poop, but I feel better now that I've gotten it out of my system.